Life never does seem to work out the way you think its going to does it? It hasn't been smooth sailing for such a long time now I'm not sure if I remember what that means. I don't remember how life feels without being stressed out about something every second. I'm hoping the decision that Steven and I have made is going to change things for the better, it's the mature adult thing to do, in some ways its the hardest decision we could have made and the hardest to live with, and yet the results of it ought to make things better its just the sacrifice in the middle that makes it all so hard. Being an adult sucks! I just want to be a kid again, I want to make the immature irresponsible decision that gives me instant gratification and not think about the consequences, that was the shit right there, and then when everything went wrong you just sulked or cried for about 24 hours and then suddenly your world turned right back up again normally because mommy or daddy fixed it for you. Anyway . . . i just wish my dreams didn't seem so far away
